Holding grudges, letting anger take over, hatred and bitterness poisoning our hearts, is it all worth it? Sometimes it is difficult to forgive people easily, especially when their actions don't seem to show any amount of guilt or repentance. Then, there are those who inflict pain on you and are completely apathetic about it either because they are a little loose to understand or that they are completely heartless. If that's what it takes for them to get what they want, they would go for it with ease. Thinking about such people in my life makes me bitter, angry, hateful and makes me want to throw a punch every time I see their sick, seemingly happy faces. The human in me wants to see them unhappy, sad and unsuccessful in everything they do. But when I think about it, I wonder if there is any point in being so bitter. Our hatred and anger does not affect the other person as much as it affects us. There is really no point in wasting time thinking about all the negativity. Even with this realisation, I find it so difficult to make amends with anyone because there are other things like my ego which simply cannot digest the act of going up and talking to that person. My chatterbox says, "What if I have not really forgiven? It would be wrong to tell someone that I forgive when I really have not. Do they even care about my forgiveness?" Despite all the risks, I strongly believe that it's stupid and harmful to hold and accumulate grudges in life. But whenever I try to forgive, all the negative thoughts pop up in my mind and then I 'd be back to square one.
One day, I finally realised that I simply could not do this alone. I turned to God for help and prayed that I wanted to forgive and that I wanted to remove these negative scars from my life. God's answer was that I just had to declare that I forgive and that He would do the rest. A huge sigh of relief and contentment washed over me when I did this. This is the second day since I took the big step to forgive and it's not been easy. The negative thoughts still pop up and I still get a slight pinch thinking about whatever has happened, but they don't control me any more. With time, this too shall pass because it's always easier to forgive than forget.