Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Why blame it on the women

It is a common phenomenon in India for women to get blamed for being raped, abused or killed. However, this is prevalent not only in India but in countries as advanced as France (as told by Audrey, my dear friend from France). I was told that the sentence for rape depends on how the victim was dressed at the time the crime was undertaken. So, the less one wears, the lesser the sentence.

 We need to look into a few aspects before pointing our fingers at these poor victims:

 1. The emotional turmoil that the victim/ victim's family is undergoing: First of all, a victim of rape will be going through a lot of anguish, fear, embarrassment and sometimes even guilt. If we put ourselves in the victim's shoes, imagine how we would feel if someone blames us for something done to us that we never asked for.  Like - why have you been cheated on, why have you let this person steal from you, why did you let him hit you, why did you let them call you 'chinki'.

2. The perpetrator: By blaming the woman or her conduct and clothes, we are giving a signal to the perpetrators and people who think like them that their actions and thoughts are justified.

 3. The fact: I have been a victim of sexual abuse ( well who is not? especially those of us who have lived in the residential areas of Bangalore and have been regular pedestrians). There are two instances that I can clearly recall: Incident 1: One was in Koramangala 5th block as I was coming back from class and I was fully clad in a salwar, carrying my books( I would have looked like a shy, obedient and studious college girl:). Believe me, I did not display any sort of provocative behaviour and the hands that attacked me caught me by a surprise. Incident 2: The next incident happened in Brigade road in a crowded street. That time too, I was fully clothed to the extent that only my feet, hands, face and neck were visible. So, you see, perverts are perverts no matter how fully clothed one is. If one was to blame a woman's behaviour for these acts, how can the rape and murder of millions of the "shy salwar clad or burkha covered homely women" be justified?

 5. Provocation? I am sure a woman who wants to have sex will always find other means to get it!

 6. Why are we so biased?: Many of us, including women are biased in the way we judge. A typical example of this:
Case A: A woman commits adultery - Typical Response: Shameless woman, how can she do this to her family and her children and BAM!! social position goes down.
Case B: A man commits adultery - Typical Response: Oh! I feel sorry for the family... It's also the woman's fault because she was always nagging, never cared about her husband ... blah blah blah!!

Also, to all the Mizo men who think that people from other states respect our women less, the reason could be you! Stop eve teasing and treat women with respect and kindness. I am sure that will change things drastically!